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09-Nov-2017 06:50

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Sometimes Love Just Ain’t Enough Just as important as assessing the recovering addict’s status is understanding your own. Does addiction strike a nerve with you, perhaps because there’s an addict in your family?Although research has refuted outdated assumptions about addiction, surveys have shown that people judge addicts (even recovering ones) more harshly than people struggling with obesity, depression and even schizophrenia.After dating one dud after another, you finally find someone who seems to have it all – thoughtful, witty, responsible – and good-looking to boot.

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In the end, it’s a very personal decision that you have to make: Is dating a recovering addict a deal-breaker for you? My partner and I are both recovering addicts-- we've been together for years now.

I am worried that he's not stable enough, though, and that the relationship won't stand a chance until he's really back on his feet (including finding a new job). I get the time has passed but your situation is interesting. One year sobriety in my book is strongly recommended. I mentioned this one evening as we were discussion his issues and recovery.

If an addict cannot handle being sober for one year, I would fear for your physical safety and your sanity if you were dating him as caring for someone who continues to relapse is exhausting. I said to him that I didn't mind going through it as I came out of it as a stronger person. I recently met someone and it was going quite well.

Recovering addicts don’t expect perfection in their partners, having learned firsthand that it doesn’t exist.

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And they have committed – in recovery and in life – to honesty and integrity and making decisions in accordance with their values.The thing with me and my past partner two years ago now was that he would make all these promises, assure me he would take his medication and get help and do better, but I never saw him making a genuine effort to get clean, at least while we were together. He now said he cannot date me as its part of his recovery program and I am on medication. I was honest about my past and shared I would have 9 years of recovery in January.



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